I just feel so upset...?

i have a horrible job. i don't have a boyfriend. i feel fat and ugly all the time. i feel like i don't have any talent. i have to be on xanax to live my life normally. i always feel like everyone is making fun of me. my best friend lives 40 minutes away from me. i'm being forced to go to community college because my parents didn't file their taxes for financial aid, therefore we can't afford college. it's cold and snowy out and i just feel so barren. the only time i'm happy is when i'm smoking weed. it's upsetting. i just want my life to change, but i don't know how to do it...i've never been skinny and i can never seem to stick to a diet. does anyone know what i can do to make myself feel better? please, no rude comments. i'm just really upset.